


Caiged

by EvergreenLaurel



Series: Breaking the Laws of Attraction [2]
Category: Scorpion (TV 2014)
Genre: Bad Decisions, Crack, F/M, Humor, Oneshot, Rare Pair, breaking the laws of attraction, caige, late night drinking, paige dineen/cabe gallo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 13:17:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10991715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvergreenLaurel/pseuds/EvergreenLaurel
Summary: “I can’t take it anymore! Something really fishy is going on between you two and you’re refusing to own up to it!” Toby all but yelled, pointing his fingers at Cabe and Paige.Cabe and Paige are forced to fess up to a new stage in their relationship.





	Caiged

“I can’t take it anymore! Something really fishy is going on between you two and you’re refusing to own up to it!” Toby all but yelled, pointing his fingers at Cabe and Paige. “You’ve been avoiding looking at each other all day long.”

Happy strolled over from her work area at Toby’s outburst. “Toby,” she admonished. “It’s Cabe and Paige. Whatever it is can’t be that bad.”

“Yes, it can,” Paige muttered underneath her breath, starting to turn a peculiar shade of miserable pink.

“Paige,” Cabe said with a hint of warning in his voice, looking just as uncomfortable. He turned his attention to Toby. “It’s none of your business.”

“It might be mine, though,” Walter suddenly cut in, standing up from behind his desk. “If it affects the efficiency of the team and your ability to work well.”

“Geeze!” Paige threw up her hands. “You guys are so nosy! It was just a stupid mistake and we’re fixing it, okay? Nothing to worry about, Walter.” At the word ‘Walter’ Paige visibly shuttered and staunchly avoided his gaze.

“I saw that! You’re doing everything you can to avoid Walter,” Toby wasn’t going to let this go. “I’m willing to bet,” at this he glanced over at Happy, “not literally, that whatever happened between Paige and Cabe had something to do with Walter.” Toby suddenly looked confused. “What on earth could that be? Wait, we need to start over. Paige and Cabe were both obviously hungover this morning.”

“Yes, and that would indicate that they were both drinking to excess last night. Possibly together,” Walter piped in, suddenly much more interested now that his name was mentioned.

“Can we not do this?” Paige buried her head in her hands.

“This is not a road that y’all want to go down,” Cabe added, looking sternly at the team.

“Too bad, we’ve already started,” Toby plunged on ahead. “So let’s go with the theory that Paige and Cabe got drunk together last night.”

“That image is very disturbing.” At some point Sylvester had wandered over and was listening with trepidation to the proceedings.

“Tell me about it,” Toby agreed. “And they did something that they regret but can be ‘fixed’. Something embarrassing...”

“And somehow has something to do with Walter,” Happy added, sounding confused.

“Matching ‘Walter’s Angels’ tattoos?” Toby threw out there, knowing it was a wild shot in the dark. “When it comes to things people do when they’re drunk and regret later, the list is long. Tattoos, drunk calls to exes, inappropriate table dancing, making large bets, getting married, pie—wait!” Toby took a big step towards Paige and pointed his finger at her face. “You winced at the word ‘married’. I struck a chord.”

“Toby, please,” She tried to sound flippant but it came out more as a squeak.

“Paige what did you...” Walter seemed unable to finish his sentence as he paused and started staring into nothing.

“I think the cat’s out of the bag, kid. We’re gonna have to fess up,” Cabe finally said, looking for all the world like he wanted to be anywhere but there.

Paige closed her eyes for a minute then took a deep breath before slowly and mournfully saying, “Cabe and I got married last night.”

“By the scepter of Ravenwood,” Sylvester was the first to break the awkward silence that followed. “I must be in the Twilight Zone.”

“How did--” Walter still seemed incapable of finishing a sentence. “Why did-- _Paige._ ” He finally pleaded, looking like he was about to have some sort of mental breakdown.

“This is going to be a good story,” His job of getting the confession completed, Toby stepped back and leaned against a nearby table. “Paige, Cabe, I believe you both have some explaining to do.”

Paige groaned and rubbed her forehead, “Cabe and I got a drink together last night to talk about Walter’s emotional development.”

“Just a couple of friends discussing how best to help another friend. All kosher, promise,” Cabe added.

“Walter’s a lot to talk about so one drink quickly turned into… too many.”

“Before we knew it, we got to talking about how we feel like we’re Walter’s parents,” Cabe rubbed the back of his neck, obviously regretting everything.

“And that got us into how Walter needs a stable family and then things got weird,” Paige paused to take a long drink of water.

“ _That’s_ when it got weird?” Happy asked incredulously.

“Well, we hadn’t realized that the bartender had been listening in to bits of our conversation and misunderstood the situation. As a licensed officiant he offered to marry us right then and there,” Cabe explained. “Paige and I thought the idea was really funny...”

“And you got giddy,” Toby filled in, starting to laugh himself. “You were super drunk and slap-happy and decided to get married.” He leaned over the table to support himself in his gaffs of laughter. “Paige and _Cabe!”_

Cabe’s eyes narrowed, “It’s really no laughing matter, son. It’s something that we’re going to have to undo.”

“I’ll help,” Walter spoke for the first time since the explanation started and went straight to his computer, his fingers flying furiously over the keyboard.

“So,” Toby started to catch his breath and calm down after Happy gave him a swift smack to the back of the head. “I just have one question...” He snorted. “How was the honeymoon?”

“ _Toby!_ ” Sylvester immediately admonished, looking sick.

“It didn’t happen,” Paige glared over at Toby. “We went home _separately_ and didn’t see each other again until this morning. I’d appreciate it if everyone could just try to forget this ever happened.”

“Sounds good to me,” Happy said quickly and began walking back to her desk.

“One more thing,” Paige added, looking desperately at each of her workmates. “Don’t tell Ralph. He spent the weekend at his dad’s and should be back any moment. He can’t know about this.” She ended her gaze by looking pointedly at Toby. “Got it?”

“Hey, my lips are sealed,” Toby held up his hands in mock surrender. “Though I’m not sure how well you’re going to be able to keep this from him. Little dude’s smart.”

“If nobody says anything to him, I think we can deal with this quickly and quietly,” Cabe said in his firm military-style cadence, walking over to watch Walter’s research.

A knock on the door turned everyone’s attention from the matter at hand as Toby went to open the door on a friendly-looking woman in a jean skirt with a big smile on her face. “Hi, I’m Kate Little!” She said cheerfully. “I’m looking for a Mr. and Mrs. Cabe Gallo?”

Toby’s grin was monstrous. “Right inside.” He stepped aside with a flourish that indicated the two parties.

“I got a message on my phone last night about starting the adoption process of a--” At this she checked the papers in her hands. “Walter O’Brien?”

Paige sunk down into her chair and muttered miserably, “I thought that was dream.”

Toby snorted and ran out of the room, presumably to laugh in peace, while the rest of the room stared blankly at the woman.

Walter was the first to speak, his face scrunched up in confusion, “I’m Walter O’Brien.”

Kate looked understandably really confused, “You’re Walter O’Brien? Uhm… the message I received made it sound like you were 12… Am I missing something here?”

“No, ma’am, just a big misunderstanding,” Cabe gently took the woman’s shoulders and started leading her out of the garage, sending stern warning glances at the room. “Have a nice day.”

“But I don’t unders--” was the last they heard from the lady before Cabe shut the door firmly behind her and leaned on it, looking sick.

“I _am_ in the Twilight Zone,” Sylvester muttered quietly, dazed as Paige slowly and gently started banging her head repeatedly on her desk.

“Why would you--” Walter began, looking at Paige like he didn’t quite know her. His syndrome of not finishing sentences seemed to be returning.

“Vodka makes people do very bad things, Walter,” Paige mumbled, not lifting her head from her desk. “Stupid things. Things that they would NEVER EVER do if they were in their right mind.”

“But--” Walter began but was quickly interrupted by Cabe.

“Everybody, shut up!” Cabe called from the window. “Ralph’s here.”

There was a short period of bustling as Walter closed the windows he was looking at on his computer, Cabe tried to sit casually at the table, Sylvester rushed towards his desk, and Paige lifted her head from her own desk and schooled a pleasant expression on her face.

Within a few moments Ralph and Drew walked in. Ralph went immediately to his mother’s side.

“Mom, I received an unusual voice message on my phone last night. I was wondering if I could acquire more information about this ‘dad’ and ‘sibling’ you talked about?”

Paige’s head went back down on her desk. “Kill me now.”

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so at this point you've probably guessed that my definition of "pairing" is pretty broad. ;) I know this is weird and super unlikely, but I'm committing myself to doing a bunch of really odd pairings so this series is just gonna be weird. But, hopefully, also enjoyable. :)
> 
> Also, I've decided that Caige is Paige and Cabe's ship name...


End file.
